Early Morning Tuesday

I went to bed early last night. Junior slept next to me peacefully until about three AM, then he woke up and started licking himself. So I tried to get back to sleep but it was impossible. So I am up now at 4:40 trying to write.

I ended up turning the country music station on in hopes the dog would calm down. He’s lying in my bed now staring at me like he wants something. I just want to feel secure in my home without drama, but the dog is kinda a drama king.

I suppose having a beast is better than being alone. Junior just needs to settle down and relax. I guess I am more used to a hound dog like my old boy Monster who slept all day and howled at coyotes all night.

I think I am going to make a cup of tea and get something to eat for breakfast. I was down to 209 pounds this morning. I am as light as I was 4 years ago now when I went off my antipsychotic meds. That was a mistake and I paid the price for my folly. In any case, maybe I can think of something useful to write today instead of just journaling my life away.

My Dog the Literary Critic

I left Junior in my room to go get the mail in and make a phone call and when I got back to my room he had one of my books of poetry, my poetry, on the floor and one of them ripped out of the binder and chewed up and half eaten. He’s been real agitated this afternoon and wanted hugs and couldn’t focus on doing his business in the yard. I guess he wants to read my books now and offer his own brand of criticism. Nothing lost and no real damage. Oh well.

Calm Morning

It’s quiet this morning, and not bitter cold. Junior is back to staring out the window, and I am trying to get my life into some kind of order. I had a bit of a setback yesterday, but it was my birthday. I didn’t get wasted, which was good. I am finally making some progress on my diet, and the dog gets me outside several times a day. He sat next to me on the porch after our walk and wasn’t pulling off into the corners on the trail of some mouse.

Dad gave me some money for my birthday yesterday and I have to think of something I can spend it on that won’t be useless, like drugs and alcohol. Cigarettes are pretty bad as well. I got a phone call from one of my sisters and one of my brothers yesterday. I called the neighbors, because Ron shares a birthday with me. I went to sleep early and woke up very early.

I am running out of decent videos to watch on YouTube about health and fitness. I don’t know why so many people have to post videos of what they eat in a day. Who cares what you ate? This shit comes up every time I search for diet videos. Here’s what I ate so far today: A habanero pepper, a banana, some beans, and some flax meal. I have to grind up some vegetables in the blender soon, maybe some red cabbage.

Having a dog has definitely broken me out of my routine. I don’t pace the bedroom floor any more like I had been doing for a year and a half for exercise. I go out in the yard and try to steer Junior back onto the path when he alerts at every little thing hiding in the bushes. I have a responsibility now to tame down this dog and get him used to his new home. I looked at the shelter website a couple days ago. They only have four dogs up for adoption now, three of them pits. Either a lot of people adopted dogs this month or they had a purge. I kinda think I saved Junior’s life by taking him in. It was a good use for my stimulus payment.

It’s 11:00 this morning and Dad is just getting his breakfast. I will probably go out to the Picnic Basket and pick up some lunch meat and dog food, maybe something for me, I don’t know. I didn’t get a happy birthday message or call from my girl yesterday, so maybe she was busy with work or forgot. There’s no way I can pick her up and have her spend the night if the dog is pulling his tricks here in my room. I just don’t think she’s that good for me with her drinking and smoking. She has developed a weight problem as well and says she wants to get into shape, but she eats fast food and won’t exercise. I’d like to get her turned on to the advantages of a plant based diet, but I can’t tell her what to eat.

Oh well, I think it’s time to get going and get some things done around here. I’ve been in this room too long and need to head out and get the shopping done for the day.

Crazy Dog

I woke up at three this morning and went to the bathroom. By the time I got back in my room the dog,who had been asleep, had pissed and crapped all over my floor. I cleaned up his mess and went back to bed.

I took Junior out for his morning walk at quarter past eight this morning. He wasn’t as wild as he was yesterday, which was good. He took a leak in the yard and didn’t pull much. He’s staring out my window now, transfixed by the snow apparently. He was lunging at the window yesterday, intent on chasing a dead leaf that was blowing in the wind.

I just don’t know how to train this animal. He’s still very much like a puppy and can’t control his moods very well. He’s coming off his meds so I suppose that is part of the problem. This is my third or fourth week with him and I still haven’t gotten him crate trained. He slept most of the night, so that’s good.

I didn’t have much of a birthday yesterday with the dog going crazy at the window to the point I had to attach his leash to my belt to keep him out of trouble. He still hasn’t learned his place in this house, and I can’t trust him not to crap in the front room like he did the third day I had him. He’s listening to country music on the radio now.

I have work to do today and I have to take care of a pot of pea soup on the stove. I will try to write more later.

59

Today is my 59th birthday. It looks like I am well into my senior years. It’s snowing out this morning and the wind is blowing. Junior was a good boy last night and slept in his own bed. I had many weird and intense dreams last night. Some odd agent was hunting me back at the school where I used to work. Some dreams you just don’t want to remember.

I went to bed early last night. Yesterday I drank the last of my beers for a while. I didn’t get drunk and had a good dinner with Dad and the dog. Junior was very tired yesterday and slept most of the afternoon. I wore him out on Friday with all my playing with him. The poor boy will never look at a tote bag in the same way again I fear.

Today is the day I kick cigarettes again. I am pretty mad at myself for starting to smoke again. I can’t really blame my smoking on my girl, but she kinda triggered me last time she was up. Addictions are in many ways a social problem. You catch an addiction from another addict who introduces you to that behavior. I caught my weed addiction from my friend Mike back in high school. I caught alcoholism and cigarette smoking from my room mate Larry back when I had my apartment. My life would have been a lot different if I hadn’t run into all my drug addict friends back in the day. Now, I just have myself to blame.

It’s six AM now and I have to do a couple chores in the kitchen while the dog and Dad sleep. Hopefully we don’t get a hell of a lot of snow out of this storm, but we may. I haven’t checked the weather yet this morning, just woke up and started blogging. I have a busy week ahead with a doctor visit of my own to deal with. Maybe I will come back here later and write something useful.

Winter Sun

The day started out cold, but brightened.
Sunrise and walking the dog in the yard.
I sit and think on the last day
Of my fifty-eighth year:
What does the future hold?

Dog snoozing at the foot of my bed,
His snores a background music to my typing.
I am losing weight slowly, and am in good health
Despite my minor addictions.
Tomorrow the snow comes, and with it, another year.

Watch Dog

Junior pulled his first duty as watch dog yesterday. I had to take Dad to a doctor appointment yesterday afternoon, so I spent a good hour with the dog before we left, exploring the back yard and playing soccer with his ball. I left him with his ball, but I think he sat by the window most of the time we were gone. It took almost two and a half hours at the doctor and by the time I got home the dog was frantic to see me. I gave him hugs and he gnawed on my hand a bit and whined. Junior is basically a good dog.

I made up a new game yesterday that we will probably never play again. I got a free tote bag and put it over his head and let him go. He shook the bag off pretty quick and I laughed at him, but it pissed him off and he took to destroying the bag. He ripped it into little pieces. I had to lure him back to my room, as this happened in the front room with Dad watching, and when we were safe in my room I got out my knife and helped him rip the bag to shreds. He finally calmed down and went to sleep on my bed. I picked up the pieces of the bag and trashed them. I don’t think he actually ate any of the bag, just ripped off pieces and spat them out.

Since I had stressed out Junior so much with leaving him alone and setting him off with the stupid bag, I let him snuggle up next to me in bed and fell asleep. I slept through the whole night without any memorable dreams. It’s 20 to seven now and Junior is still crashed out on my bed. When it gets light I will take him out for his morning walk. Hopefully he does his business outside in the yard, though it is ten degrees F this morning outside and he may have some problems.

It’s been over three weeks now since I adopted Junior and he is slowly learning to be calm despite the fact that I rile him up now and then. I let him lead me through the yard for a while yesterday and he found rabbit tracks and a chipmunk trail. I thought I had whacked all the pesky chipmunks last summer, but I guess a couple were too clever for me and managed to stay out of my rat traps. It’s sad that I had to do this, but they had built a nest in the Malibu and gnawed through a brake sensor wire. That repair ran $300, and the rat traps came in at eight dollars.

Junior nipped my right ring finger yesterday in his rage and drew a little blood. It was my own fault for pranking him like I did. God forbid anyone breaks into my house, there’s going to be a mess to clean up if they do. With the dog at my bedroom window barking, I think that will be deterrent enough to keep anyone from thinking they can walk into my house and rob me.

While waiting for Dad at the doctor yesterday in the parking lot I started reading The Call of the Wild by Jack London. That novel, written from the point of view of Buck the dog, is very horrible and violent. In the first 40 pages more bad shit happens to that dog than is believable. Still it’s interesting and I may read some more this morning. I guess things were different 122 years ago in the Gold Rush, and animals were not treated kindly.

I have some Loreena McKennitt going on the computer now for the dog. Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be 59. It is supposed to snow Sunday and Monday and we may get six inches depending on how the storm goes. I am safe in my house with plenty of food and I don’t have to go to the doctor for another week. Junior is being a good boy now and sleeping. I had a cup of tea to wake me up and I may run my Happy Light for a while to chase away the darkness-induced winter blues.

Dreams and Sun

It’s ten past eight in the morning and the sun is shining. Nine degrees F outside and the wind is calm. I got up at about ten past six this morning and had many nightmarish dreams. I was being hunted by a group of Christians. They dropped a car on me in the barn. They tried to shoot me down with bow and arrows in the garden. They tried to throw knives at me. They set their dogs on me. I fought back and avoided all their attacks. Finally I went inside the house and they followed. The adults congregated in the living room and kitchen and the kids followed me into my room and wanted me to cook sausage for them and play my computer games. I went to the kitchen for a glass of champagne. Back in my room one girl took my glass and drank a little. Then she sat on my lap. I woke up.

Junior slept most of the night, though a video started playing with dogs barking and it woke both of us up. I switched channels and went back to bed. When I got up I made some tea. Junior took a dump in my room, but it was dark and I couldn’t take him outside anyway. I cleaned it up and sterilized my floor, still in a good mood from my dream. The dog went back to sleep and is snoring now.

I got some habanero peppers at Kroger yesterday. I blended one up with a roma tomato and made a bracing drink. I have been taking capsaicin for my various pains for the last nine months. It works better than aspirin or tylenol and isn’t toxic to the liver. I ingest enough liver toxins already with my scattered drinking.

I have to take the dog out now for his morning walk so he can piss in the yard instead of my room. It’s cold, but the sun is shining. He has slept long enough and needs to get moving. I could use some fresh air myself. Later all my followers.

Good Boy

Junior is finally getting the hang of living in my house. He slept all night and woke me up at five, then went back to bed. I took him out in the yard and he did his morning business very well and got little bits of kibble for a reward. He didn’t pull very much at the leash and went right to the door when I told him it was time to come inside.

The dog is laying at my feet now, on his leash so he stays close to me. I learned a lot from watching videos on dog training over the last two days. He has come a long way since I got him three weeks ago, but he still has a long way to go to being a well trained hound.

It looks like I have finally found a way to get my weight under control. I was down to 210 pounds this morning even after a cup of tea and some pea soup. That’s at least a ten pound loss in the last month. I still have 40 pounds to go to get down to 170, but it looks like I have found a way to finally get into better shape.

I may pay the bill for the next year on this blog and keep things going ad-free here. I like WordPress and get a bit of feedback on my posts. There still isn’t a lot of traffic for this blog, but I have deleted a lot of things I posted about my drinking problem and most of the poems I had written. I am still looking for ways to make money here, as I don’t have a real job. What I need is something that benefits my readers, but I really don’t know who my followers are. If you like reading the story of my life, leave a like and a comment and we can have a discussion.

Dog Training

Junior is a bit of a wild child and he needs to be trained. I have been watching dog training videos on YouTube and have learned a few things. Since he is not properly house trained that is the first thing we need to do. He was good this morning and did his business outside once it got light. I really didn’t give him a chance for any accidents as I kept him on the leash all morning and with me so I could watch him. He is still kinda crazy when he goes outside, but as long as it isn’t dark he does pretty well.

Last night I watched some videos by Ty the Dog Guy on YouTube and learned a lot about training a dog. I put Junior on a leash and walked him around the house, changing direction every time he started to pull. Ty calls this the “Crazy Man Method of Leash Training.” It shows the dog that the man is the leader and not the dog. I tried it outside this morning, but there were too many distractions for it to have any effect.

Junior is sleeping in his crate now in the sun. He’s been in there 20 minutes so far and seems to be fairly relaxed. I gave up on using treats for a reward and instead use little bits of kibble to reward him for his good behaviors. Ty said this was making the dog work for his food, which is a good idea. I watched some other dog training videos as well this morning. In one a trainer took a really wild German Shepherd and got it to walk on a leash without pulling in 20 minutes or so using a prong collar. Junior isn’t as wild as that dog though, and he does pretty well with his easy walk harness and collar.

The dog has been in his crate for half an hour now without growling or barking. I think I am going to get something for breakfast here and let him sleep a while, then take him out for another walk. It’s a cold morning, but the sun is shining beautifully and the dog is being a good boy because I have him under better control. Today is looking like it will be a good day for man and beast alike.