I’m not feeling the greatest today. I’m an old man who lives with his even older dad. I’m a loser at life and the game is almost over for me here. I’ve already outlived my life expectancy after so many years, about 25, on antipsychotic drugs because I was fucking hallucinating from bad drugs. I really don’t like doctors much.

It’s cloudy this morning, warm and humid. Dew was still on the lawn as I took Junior for his morning walk. He’s crashed out in bed now, tired of barking at me after I paid him no nevermind. I finished a cup of tikuanyin oolong tea and may go back and make another.

I have been trying to do something about the obesity these drugs have caused me. Doctors don’t give a damn if their medications cause side effects like obesity, they pass you off to a specialist and cash in on the opportunity for more therapy and more medical bills. I’m getting ready to check out of the whole corrupt system.

I heard from my girl friend yesterday, but she didn’t say much. She works two jobs. She has similar mental problems to me, that are even worse than my problems. She doesn’t talk to me much when we are together, and she gets me smoking. I haven’t seen her since January. I don’t know, we have drifted apart. I like her, but she really isn’t somebody I could live with. Why am I talking about my only friend? Well, at least I have one.

I just made another cup of tea and a glass of walnut milk. Walnut milk is easy and kinda quick. You take ten ounces of cold water and put it in a blender. Then you grab a handful of raw shelled walnuts and add them to the water in the blender. Then you blend on high for three minutes and you get nice smooth warm walnut milk full of omega-3 fatty acids and some protein.

I’m going slowly on this blog post today using the buggy block editor. I wish there was a way to turn off hot keys in this editor. I keep fat fingering control and end up deleting everything, which is incredibly annoying. Why is there even a hot key combo for delete all? That makes no fucking sense.

I really should add some photos to this blog, but I don’t have much to take pictures of around here. My life is so boring. I spend most of the day in my room, walking back and forth like a caged animal for exercise, listening to the most annoying bullshit on YouTube. It’s almost eight-thirty in the morning. My dog is sleeping. My Dad is still sleeping. I just turned on my happy light. Maybe some phototherapy will cheer me up.

I planted some Carolina Reaper hot pepper seeds about a month ago. I have like four or five out of 24 seeds actually sprout, and the plants are growing very slowly and they look kinda sick and weakly. What the hell would I do with 24 ultra-hot pepper plants anyway?

I turned off the happy light, it was glaring in my eyes. I should use it for a grow light and grow some interesting plant. The sun is coming out a little now, but it is supposed to rain tomorrow.

I’m getting tired of trying to figure out ways to make money. Some years ago I wrote for a website called Helium little articles and stories about non-fiction type things and actually made about $270 for three month’s work. It wasn’t a very good return on my investment though, as I had about 300 articles and it took six months to make that kind of cash. I would still be getting residuals from that if Helium hadn’t gone belly up and sold all their writing to pay off the bankruptcy debt.

Going it alone, well, it turns out you can not get much done alone. I make this website alone, with the help of Automatic. Is the parent company still even Automatic? I don’t even know where my money is going. The sun is out full-force now beaming in my window. My Dad was actually up and dressed at 8:30 when I went out to get my tea. I’ve been typing now on this post for 45 minutes, and so far no fuck-ups. It’s time for breakfast now, so I will leave off here and try to write something useful instead of this stream of consciousness bullshit.

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