I listened to a video this afternoon about the DSM-V criteria for alcohol use disorder. Turns out I have all 11 criteria, thus I have a severe AUD. Today, well today, I have stayed away from that sauce. It’s time for me to rise above my problems and face reality without the rubber crutch of the bottle.
Right now I am listening to some inspirational shit on YouTube. There are all kinds of bodybuilding motivation videos on that service. I got one going now that is all animated. “Hurt, scarred, you’ll never ever break me,” it goes. I am sick of avoiding my problems and need to face them down and do something about them.
I got out my hair clippers this morning and went over my skull and gave myself a trim. It’s not perfect, but it’s neat and trim. I still have a shadow, but that’s not a problem. I look like a low grade bum, and feel like one for getting fucked up so many days this week. I should have saved my money for a new computer or something.
Like I said in a previous post, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am going to get myself together and do something about my state in life. There is no reason I can’t change myself for the better. I am not as far gone as I was years ago, and I don’t have any parasites on me draining me of all my energy and life. I am beginning to realize that all the drinking buddies and drug buddies I used to have were nothing but a plague on me. I could have done something good with my life like been a doctor. Instead I threw my life away for some cheap thrills.
Today I start over and do something with my life. Today I leave behind all the bad habits that have been holding me back. Today I get my shit together and take care of my body, my mind, and my soul. I am nobody’s victim and the master of my own life.