Alcohol is demonic. I don’t even know why I started drinking the last time. It just seemed like the thing to do yesterday. It started with two silos of Natty Daddy and then escalated to a pint of Five O’Clock vodka. At least I held off on most of the vodka until dinner was over. Even now I feel the tug of that demon pulling at me to buy more beer, but I will resist.
I searched YouTube for demon alcohol and the first result was an Ozzy Osborne song of that name which I didn’t even want to hear. I really have to get my drinking under control so I am not getting fucked up and fucked over. All the damage that shit has caused me over the years defies description. I still have a broken clavicle from one incident over four years ago when I fell on my bike late one night. I don’t even know how I made it home that night.
I am resolved to slay this demon in my life, or at least drive it out of my soul. There are too many bad things that have happened to me because of my drinking, and I need to heal from a lot of damage. I really have nobody I can talk to about this problem as I am embarassed by my own weakness. I don’t even have any friends I can discuss this with. Janell hasn’t even messaged me a hello in two weeks now, so it looks like things are really over between us. I have this blog to post my journal on, and perhaps some people will actually read my words and change their lives for the better. I can only hope.