I woke Dad up and got him some tea. He wasn’t upset with me for yesterday, but he did say he was worried about me and that I looked like a zombie last night. I feel like one of the walking dead this morning to tell you the truth. I don’t know why I have to do this to myself, but it must end.

I got rid of the empties from my closet this morning. Put them out in the trash. I don’t want to even smell beer any more. I have a day before I have to go see the doctor, so I think today I will try to find some way to stay sober. I don’t have any reason to drink today. Tea and milk is all I have had so far today.

I listened to the morning mass on EWTN at eight today. He had a sermon about the pharisees, hypocrites, and two of the early saints. I am wearing my silver four-way medal and chain today. I said my prayers that were taught to me as a child. It made me cry a little, but hey.

So I got some forgiveness for my transgression yesterday in the form of a morning smile from my Dad. Today I have to find some way to make some friends and to get my life back together after years of tempting fate. It gets to me being alone in these four walls all day, every day, so maybe I can reach out to my Dad and see if he would like to be friends.

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