Health Update

I had a checkup at the doctor yesterday that went well. She seemed pleased that I had lost some weight and that my blood pressure was good. I had some blood tests and got some surprising results. My cholesterol came down well into the normal range and my triglycerides were pretty low as well after both factors had been very high. I guess there is something to eating more fruits and vegetables and leaving the eggs and dairy alone.

Today is day ten for me without alcohol and I am not looking back. I don’t need that shit in my life. It drains my bank account, my energy, and my health. So today I am going to do some light exercise and stick to a mostly plant-based diet. I picked up some salmon for dinner for Dad and I but aside from that I am going to stick to foods with more fiber and less cholesterol. My weight is moving in the right direction as well. I was down to 210 pounds this morning and woke up early. Take care.

Early Morning, Busy Day

I woke up early this morning after a night of strange dreams. I got some tea, I took my pills, I walked a little. I have a doctor appointment in about an hour, so I have to get organized. I got a light breakfast and will be leaving in about half an hour. When I get home we have to take the truck into the shop for shocks. I have to think about something for dinner as well.

I don’t like going to the doctor. She is going to bug me about colon cancer because I am old. She is going to bug me about going on statins because my cholesterol was high. She will probably bug me because I haven’t lost enough weight. I don’t even know if my insurance is still good, but I will find out soon enough. I honestly don’t know why I am going to see a doctor again. They never do much for me but prescribe drugs. Even when I broke my shoulder four years ago all they did was take a lot of x-rays, tell me I was fucked up, and tell me to call them if I suddenly became paralyzed. What the fuck? And the part that bugs me is they made a lot of money off my injuries, and all I got was screwed.

Anyway, I can’t sit around writing all morning. I have a shitload of things that have to get done today. I might check in later and post about how things went at the doctor. It is day nine that I am without alcohol now, so that at least is a positive change. I weighed in at 211 pounds this morning and I have cut way back on my food, so maybe that will help me lose some of this drug-induced weight gain. Take care.

Fruit, Vegetables, and Shock Absorbers

I went to Randazzo’s Fruit and Vegetable Market this morning. I needed grapefruit and oranges for Dad. I also needed a few other things. As I walked into the store a young lady handed me a shopping cart that she had pulled from the stack, so I smiled through my mask and thanked her.

Right in the front door they had five pound bags of grapefruit for $1.99, which is a great price, so I got two sacks of them. I looked for the balsamic vinegar they had last week, but they were sold out. Their prices on dairy were fairly steep, so I rolled on. Randazzo’s is laid out with all the fruit and vegetables on tables. I picked up five pounds of potatoes for $1.99 and then headed to the squash. Acorn squash was going for 49 cents a pound today, so I picked up a couple. Then I got small oranges for 25 cents a piece, a dozen of them. Then I picked up prunes and a quart of wine vinegar.

I ended up spending under $20 at Randazzo’s this morning, which wasn’t bad for five bags of produce. I fueled the car on the way to the place, so that was another $21. I ended up spending a little over an hour shopping this morning and got enough food to keep us going for a while. I have a chicken carcass in the slow cooker today for soup for dinner, and a few chores to help Dad out with later this afternoon.

On the way out of the driveway I happened to glance at the back of the truck. Something was hanging down from the rear axle. When I got home I crawled under the truck and found out the shock absorber on that side was broken off at the mount. The mount was good, but the shock was toast. I called Belle Tire to get a quote, and it is going to cost $318 to do the rear shocks. I just don’t have the tools to free up the rusted bolts on those shocks, but I soaked the lower mounting bolts with some penetrating oil so they will come off for the shop a little easier. In the old days I would have got out the breaker bar and spit and cursed and changed them myself, but these are not the old days.

I haven’t had much to eat today. Some peas porridge for breakfast, some tea, some cabbage smoothie for a snack. I might down some soy protein in a bit. I am just not very hungry today, which is a change. The weather is cool and clear here in Salem Township today. Right now, I think it is time to get some light exercise and think about what I want to publish on this blog. Take care.

I’m a Pagan

This morning I have been watching and listening to some pagan videos on YouTube. Even though I was raised a Catholic, I don’t identify with that religion. I follow the path of a solitary witch, and keep to myself about my beliefs.

My pagan path started from an early age. I was of course told about all the evil things witches do as a child by religious believers. As I grew older I discovered books about witchcraft and the old religions of man such as Greek and Roman pagans. While reading the Iliad one summer afternoon, right at the part where Zeus threw a thunderbolt at some Achean or other, lightning struck my chimney from a sky that was clear blue save for one fluffy little cloud over the house. I took this as some kind of sign and became intrigued by ancient literature.

I had the good fortune to go to The University of Michigan in Ann Arbor with its extensive libraries. I spent my free time between classes in the Graduate Library studying many of the eclectic books on floor 4A about drugs and the old religions. It was of course not really part of my curriculum as a physics major, but I was intrigued. I learned about pagan concepts of the world and of the ways of magic. I learned about the dark places of the mind and of the movements in the counterculture, of which, as a weed smoker, I was a part.

Over the years I have run into a few other pagans, but I never made a solid connection to any of them. I got heavily into drugs and alcohol after I graduated and lost the good years of my life chasing the empty gods of intoxication. I was a failure as a man and never was able to support myself for long before all hell broke loose with false friends. I sunk into the living hell of failure and became a recluse in my parents’ home. As the years passed and I went from unskilled job to unskilled job, running into ever more degenerate people who posed as my friends, I developed a major mental illness that the doctors still haven’t put a firm label on.

Today I live with my old father, keeping mostly to my room, taking care of cooking and cleaning and yard work. I spend my days trying to learn, and now writing. Through it all I have found some solace in my belief in benevolent gods and goddesses, in the power of magic, in the mercy of nature. This latest outbreak of corona virus really hasn’t affected me much. I do the grocery shopping. I stay at home. The library is closed so I have no outside activities. My friends have all abandoned me, because now I am a boring old man who doesn’t smoke or drink. I care for the house, the land, my father, and myself.

Writing and journaling has been with me all through this journey of life. I have stacks of notebooks full of my chronicles. I find it hard to read over the old books of mine however, because I look back on my life and realize that in many ways I was a fool who fell for the dark promises of the world instead of looking within myself for the strength to change my life for the better. Now at 58 years old I find myself on a path of discovery, a quest for happiness in a world turned dark with disease and death. I know I will find my way, but I need to ask for help from my pagan gods and goddesses because I am old and weak. This blog is in many ways the start of my journey. I will write about what’s important to me and let the chips fall where they may.

I hope nobody tries to reach out to me and save me from my pagan path. I am already saved from a life of drunken debauchery. I have people to follow online who are on the same path. I have a channel to reach out to the world, or just record my thoughts for all and sundry to look over. I have my books, and my art, and my work to keep me sane. I have people who care about me, even though I am a bit of a wastrel, and I have the future. The sun is shining now, and it’s time for another warm cup of green tea.

Quiet Afternoon

It’s 3:35 PM here now. Dad is watching a crime show on TV. I went to the store this morning and got some milk and some ground chuck for dinner. I have been walking in my room today and listening to idiotic videos on YouTube.

There is a lot of bad information online. People spend a lot of time pointing out other people’s lies. With electronic media it is hard to figure out sometimes just what is true and what is just plain wrong. Take the vegan diet and lifestyle for example. The vegans love to say how healthy their diet of plants is, yet there is plenty of evidence that a vegan diet leads to malnutrition and health problems. There are even a lot of anti-vegans online like Gatis Langdzins and Daphne Rimmel. Both are flat earth believers as well.

I am going to make some mashed potatoes and hamburger with gravy for dinner. It’s an easy fix and has plenty of protein for Dad. At 89 years old his muscles are wasting away. I haven’t really had much to eat so far today. I had green tea this morning, a cabbage smoothie, a TVP taco for lunch, and some bacon for a snack. Also I had some prunes for another snack. So altogether for the day I probably had 700 calories worth of food.

I thought about getting some beer today, but fought back the urge. Today is the seventh day straight for me without alcohol. That shit has an evil hold on me. It just ends up knocking me out and making me feel like shit, so I don’t know why I would even drink it ever. The socially acceptable drug is a killer too. Three million people a year die from alcohol in the world as a rough estimate. That makes it far worse than the corona virus that has the whole world paralyzed. Smoking tobacco kills a lot of people each year as well in horrible ways. The government makes money off alcohol and tobacco though, so they are never going to do anything about it. I haven’t had a cigarette in a year now and don’t intend to start again.

So this is my journal now. Three people liked my previous post, so thanks. I guess I have some readers here. What I don’t have is a source of income. I am not about to start cyber-begging either. So many people on YouTube set up Patreons and super chats for their live streams that I wonder how begging online became the norm. There’s no need to give money to glory hounds and attention whores who just say shit that is controversial.

I have to get some more activity in today. It has been a couple days now since I lifted weights. Usually I just walk back and forth in my room and listen to lectures. I can’t afford a treadmill and don’t see the point of one when a floor does the same thing. I have dumbbells, a barbell set, a weight bench, a weighted vest, hand grippers, a medicine ball, and some 2 pound hand weights. I have a yoga mat, though I seldom do yoga. I have any music I want as well to take the boredom out of exercise. Unlike over 30 million people in America these days, I have all the food I need. I just need to get off my ass now and get to work. Catch you later people.

Tea in the Morning

I am still a little groggy from sleep this morning. This is day seven for me on sobriety, and I think I am over the hump as far as cravings go. I picked up some supplements at the health food store on Saturday to help me stay clean and start building some muscle. I have been exercising every day now for the last week.

I have a cup of green tea this morning. It is almost 8:30 now. I think today I am going to skip breakfast and just have some pea soup for lunch. I haven’t weighed myself yet this morning, but probably am up a pound or so.

I have a doctor appointment on Thursday with my primary care physician. She is bound to bug me about colon cancer screening. Now here’s the thing: I smoked for years and they never seem concerned about screening me for lung cancer. But because I am over 50 they seem paranoid about colon cancer. Doctors are strange.

It is a cool cloudy morning and we may get some rain today. I got the lawn mowed on Saturday, so that chore is out of the way. I have to do something about this blog and see about making it into a going concern. I have a decent domain now with my name on it, so who knows, maybe I will get into something like writing articles on health and fitness, things I have been studying for some time now. Anyway, that’s all for now. I will be back later to write some more.

Still Sore

I am still sore from whatever has got a hold of me. I am starting to feel better though and got a little work done today. I went to Kroger and got groceries this morning. I got the lawn tractor all ready to go to mow the lawns, about an acre of grass or so, and just have to wait for the battery to charge. I made lunch for Dad and caught another chipmunk this morning.

It’s very hot this afternoon, about 88 F. I have to wear jeans and jacket to mow, so tomorrow morning after the dew burns off when it is cool is the best time. I have been trying to learn how to build up some muscle today, but you ask that question of the net and you get a lot of bullshit. Everybody has an opinion and they all want to make a buck off you.

I really should be working on my writing, but I am just not inclined. This journal is my writing project now. For some reason I got a lot of page views from China today. I would have thought the great firewall would have blocked me off from views in that country. Well, I am off now to do something about dinner. Potato pancakes are on the menu for tonight, so something savory, and some corn off the cob. Bye for now.

Cool Morning

It’s 63 degrees F this morning here in Salem Township. The house is cool and comfortable. I am still feeling sore for no reason, but I suppose things will be better today as we have no obligations.

I had a cup of green tea this morning. I quit coffee a week ago now. I made a big baking dish of baked beans yesterday for dinner and they turned out well. I will have beans for a few days now as it is just Dad and I living here.

I made some progress yesterday on staying sober. I have to get back into lifting weights and getting some exercise. I think this morning I will do some walking in my room and listen to some exercise videos, or lectures about exercise.

It has been four or five days since I played any Skyrim. I don’t play that game the way it is supposed to be played. The way you are supposed to play it is to become a mass murderer and psycho killer and unleash dragons on the world. The way I play it is to start a homestead and plant a farm and do crafts and chop wood. I do not delight in slaughter.

I haven’t seen any chip-rats around this morning. Their days are numbered around here. I caught two field mice last night in the rat traps. I have to eliminate those critters before they do more damage to the vehicles. I can’t understand how such a cute little creature can be so destructive.

It’s early this morning and I have to take it easy today. I cut down some weedy trees yesterday and trimmed the bush by the air conditioner so the repair man could get at it easier. He got the AC working again and charged a reasonable amount. It took almost three weeks before they got to us, but times are different with this virus that is going around.

I still haven’t decided what I want to do with this blog. Perhaps I will turn it into a place to sell my art. I have books I could be selling as well, but hey, if nobody comes here, who is going to buy anything? Right now it is just my open journal to the world where I tell the story of my life. I suppose I can live with that for a while.

Chipmunk Damage

We got the car back from dealer service this evening. The chipmunks from the front yard had made a nest in it and gnawed apart a wiring harness. So I made a decision about the little rascals this morning. They had to go.

I bought some rat traps at Home Depot. I baited them with a slice of apple and some peanut butter. I terminated two of the critters from the front yard with these devices. Cold, I know, to waste a cute little chipmunk. $300 for the critters’ damage to be repaired is no damn good either. The rodents have to go.

It’s sad because we have been feeding them peanuts and sunflower seeds for the last couple years. They are cute when they stuff their faces full of seeds or peanuts and then scamper off to their homes. But cute isn’t important when it comes to vehicle safety. I can’t have chip-rats gnawing away at my vehicles. I got two of the rascals today, but there are at least three more that have to be done in. You can’t teach a rodent not to gnaw, and they will have freshly-baited traps to play with tomorrow.

New Direction

I still like poetry, but I have to take a new direction with this blog. It’s not encouraging to post a poem, get 8 views on it, then it’s there doing nothing for the rest of its existence. So I have turned this into my online journal.

I’m still not feeling up to snuff as far as my health goes. I think I caught something like a flu virus that has made all my muscles ache. It has also given me intestinal problems, but they are clearing. I haven’t had the best diet for the last week and think I really need to detox my system.

I like this blog. It has my name on it and it is my place to publish some of my thoughts and to read what others post. I think I need to find some other online journals here and follow them. I like reading about normal people’s lives and what goes through their heads. Perhaps I need to just collect my thoughts at times and leave them to the wind.

I can see myself writing articles about the news and things that are happening in the world, or about products, food, culture, music or art. Right now I feel like talking about my health because it has been fairly bad for the last week.

I am overweight. In my underwear this morning I weighed 212 pounds, and at five foot nine I am technically obese. My muscles seem to be wasting away with old age, and my energy levels are low. I have very low motivation to do anything, and apparently have to rely on drugs to keep me sane. My cholesterol was through the roof last time they checked it, and my liver enzymes were bad. I get dizzy standing up too fast, and sleep far too much. It’s all because I have been on antipsychotic medications since 1996.

Yeah, in the past I have been considered crazy. Last time I was hospitalized was almost three years ago. That’s where I met my friend, who has her own set of problems. I haven’t seen her in almost a year now, so we have pretty much gone our own ways. I have my old Father to help around the house, and he has a lot of health problems as well. We live in a sprawling ranch house in a semi-rural area, though the road is paved and heavily traveled.

But that’s enough about my problems. I need to start solving my problems instead of suffering with them. I need to find a way to lose weight given that I am on drugs that make me lethargic and hungry. I need to get more energy and stop falling asleep at eight PM. I need to watch myself and not start drinking booze again. Right now I am going to do some walking in my room and listen to something educational. Take care.